I Need to Help My Child Handle This Disaster
You and your family have survived the disaster. You are all physically safe and sound and yet you are not sure how to ease your child’s fears and anxieties. How do you reassure your child that everything is ok when everything that is familiar to them has changed? There are no easy answers to this question, but there are some clear tips and steps you can take to create a sense of safety for your child after the disaster.
Quick Tips for Parents and Caregivers
• Remain calm and reassuring. Let your child know they are safe.
• Give your child extra hugs.
• Let your child be more dependent on you for a period of time for example allow them to sleep with the light on; allow them to sleep with you; give them their favorite teddy bear back even if they’ve outgrown it.
• Be honest and open about the disaster at a level your child can understand and handle emotionally.
• Do not allow your child to watch the news this will only add to their fear.
• Be sure to encourage your child to express their feelings through talking, drawing and playing.
• Try to maintain your daily routines as much as possible.
• Take care of your own needs. You will be able to help your child better if you are getting the support you need through talking to friends, family, a pastor or religious leader.
When Comforting Your Pre-School Child
• Remember that if your child is acting clingy or more emotional that they are not “being bad” they are afraid and need a lot of love.
• Use words and sentences that won’t confuse your child or make the world more frightening.
When Comforting Your Elementary-School Age Child
• Don’t say things like “disasters will never affect the family again.” Children know this isn’t true.
• Instead, say “You’re safe now and I’ll always try to protect you,--or—Adults are working very hard to make things safe.”
• Remind children that disasters are very rare.
For more information on how to help your child deal with a national disaster click here. Also see NASP Online.
Possible Reactions of Children and Youth to Natural Disasters
The severity of each child’s reaction to a natural disaster may be different. If a child suffers the loss of a loved one, is dislocated from their community and home, or has suffered other traumatic losses before the disaster they will most likely have more serious reactions. If your child shows any drastic changes in their behavior or any of the following symptoms for longer than three months contact a doctor and or mental health professional right away:
1. Preschoolers (3-4 years old)
• Thumb sucking
• Bedwetting
• Clinging to parents
• Sleep disturbances
• Loss of appetite
• Fear of the dark
• Nightmares
• Not wanting to play with friends or follow routines
• Acting more baby-like
2. Elementary-School Age Children (9-12 years old)
• Grumpy and irritable
• Aggressive physically
• Clinging to parents
• Nightmares
• Not wanting to go to school
• Trouble concentrating
• Not wanting to play with friends
3. Teens
• Trouble sleeping and eating
• Easily irritated and angry
• More fights with friends and family
• Physical complaints (headaches, stomach aches)
• Trouble concentrating
• Alcohol or drug-use problems
• Depression or a sense of hopelessness about life or the future.
More information:
1. The American Red Cross, “Helping Young Children Cope with Trauma,” (accessed September 16, 2008).
2. Brock, Stephen E., S. R. Jimerson and P. J. Lazarus, “Helping Children After a Natural Disaster: Information for Parents and Teachers,” National Association for School Psychologists (accessed September 16, 2008).
3. Mental Health America, “Factsheet: Helping Children Handle Disaster-related Anxiety,” (accessed September 16, 2008).
